However, encouragements and nuggets of wisdom can at least guide you to positive results, if you do not give up. They could help you avoid taking harmful actions against others and yourself. For this reason, seeking such tips and pieces of advice is still a healthy step when you need to move on from a failed relationship.
I have compiled the break-up self-help tips I have been writing in the past months. Hopefully, they can be of help. Check out these 100 tips on how to move on after a breakup, and let us see if they can be effective on you.
1. Draw closer to God.
God is close to the broken-hearted. He knows what you are going through, and He is willing to heal your heart—if you let Him.
2. Pamper yourself a little bit more.
It is okay to indulge in your guilty pleasures once in a while, especially during times like this. Treat yourself to good things in life.
3. Choose to be happy.
Happiness is a choice. Condition your mind to make this choice daily.
4. Direct your focus to other important priorities.
Do not forget that you still have a family, career, and other priorities to keep your life going. Divert your attention to them.
5. Focus on loving yourself.
How could you expect someone else to love you completely if you, yourself, cannot love yourself for whatever you are?
6. Find a new passion.
Get hooked on a new hobby or productive activity that would help you discover more about yourself and challenge you to achieve more.
7. Count your blessings.
Surely, there are a lot of blessings that you should be thankful for like your family, trustworthy friends, career, good health, or simply the fact that you still wake up each day.
8. Enjoy singlehood.
Admit it, there are many things you cannot simply do if you are in a relationship because you need your partner’s approval.
9. Surround yourself with positive people.
Avoid being with people who have a negative perspective on the world. They would only convince you that life is not worth living.
10. Be physically fit.
Being physically healthy will result in a healthy mind. You need this to strengthen your will to go on and make sound decisions.
12. Divert your energy to pursuing excellence.
Instead of making your angst a motivation to get even or harm yourself, use it as a driving force to give your best in doing productive things.
13. Learn from your experience.
Do not waste the tears and heartaches you have right now. Gain wisdom from this experience so you would not have to go through this same path in the future.
14. Be patient with the healing process.
You cannot rush wounds to heal in a day. Acceptance that you are in pain is the first step to healing.
15. Decide to be a better you.
The best motivation is probably proving to yourself that you did not deserve to be hurt. Enhance yourself and bring out the best of who you are.
Photo by Tim Gouw
16. Travel alone.
Go soul searching. Find healing in being alone with yourself in the serenity of beautiful places and cultures.
17. Travel with loved ones.
You can also take holiday trips with your family and close friends. Enjoy exploring new places and doing adventures with them.
18. Get back to old, forgotten hobbies.
What were the activities you used to enjoy when you were younger and you have not had time for recently? Go back to them and regain who you are through them.
19. Watch feel-good movies.
Comedy, rom-com, and inspirational movies can help boost your happy hormones and inspire you to enjoy life.
20. Be involved in a sport.
Being physically active can increase your energy level, which is necessary to have a positive disposition.
21. Enjoy nature.
Take time to watch the sunset or wake up early to catch the sunrise. You can also stroll in the park and just enjoy being surrounded by trees and flowers.
22. Meet new people.
Let new people into your life. Get new insights about life from them and enjoy new friendships. One of them might lead to your long and lasting love.
23. Try different adventures.
Challenge yourself to do the things that you are scared of or you have never tried before. Let the ecstasy of achieving something you never thought you could give you fulfillment.
24. Hang out with friends more often.
Your close friends are among your support group. Instead of isolating yourself, be surrounded by them and do fun things together.
25. Get pets.
Unless your allergic to them, pets can be a good stress reliever. They will return your love and never hurt you.
26. Accept reality.
As I wrote above, acceptance is the first step to healing. Stop denying that you are not okay.
27. Think it is for the best.
Look at the positive side of the situation. Think of reasons why you are better off without him/her.
28. Stop communicating with his/her family or friends.
Keeping in touch with his/her loved ones makes you believe that you are still part of his/her world. Hard, but staying away from them would help you get to your senses faster.
29. Avoid thinking about the past.
Reminiscing about your good old times together makes it harder to let go. Whenever you are tempted to think about the past, find something to get your mind busy with.
30. Be happy for your ex’s new life.
If your ex has moved on and found a new love, then just be happy for him/her. Not easy, but if you really love someone, you always want their happiness, right?
31. Do not beg him/her to come back.
Stop being pathetic by begging your ex to come back. It would only annoy him/her. Leave a little pride for yourself.
32. Think that if you are meant to be, you’ll get back together.
You cannot force someone to love you back. At this point, what you can hold on to is the thought that if s/he is meant to come back to you, then s/he will be back someday.
33. Stop reaching out to him/her.
If you really want to move on, then stop doing desperate moves like shooting him a message on Messenger or calling him/her once in a while.
34. Do not try to forget the situation through alcoholism or addiction.
Alcohol, drugs, and other forms of vices would not solve your problem. They would only break you all the more.
35. Do not rush getting into a new relationship.
Finding a new partner is not the solution to your broken heart. It is unfair both to you and the person because you have not moved on yet.
36. Do not try to hide what happened to others.
Stop thinking about what others would say. Stop trying to cover up your loss. It would only add to your despair to have your ex back.
37. Do not compare yourself to your ex’s new partner.
If your ex has found a new love, then stop thinking of what the new partner has that you do not have. This will make you insecure.
38. Confront the situation by not avoiding the places that remind you of the past.
You cannot avoid those memorable places all your life. Rather, try to make new memories in them.
39. Give your ex space s/he needs.
If your ex asks you to stop contacting him/her, then stop. That means s/he does not want you running after him/her anymore.
40. Pray for strength.
Whenever you feel like you cannot take it anymore, pray to God to give you strength. You will see how He answers through ways you do not expect.
41. Forgive yourself and others.
Let go of all the hate. Choose to forgive yourself, your ex, and anyone else who hurt you.
42. Forgive for your own peace.
It is hard to move on with heavy baggage like grudge and hatred dragging behind. Forgive to lighten your burden.
43. Think positively about those you resent.
The more you meditate on the flaws and mistakes of those who hurt you, the more you hate them. Strive to think of their good attributes to make it easier for you to forgive them.
44. Wish your ex all the best.
Do not curse or wish terrible things to happen to your ex. It would get back to you 10x. Instead, wish him/her good things despite what s/he did to you, and you will be blessed.
45. Stop bad-mouthing your ex.
Stop spreading gossips and bad comments about your ex. It would reflect your bitterness.
46. Be humble, and accept that you had mistakes too.
Instead of putting all the blame on your ex, admit your flaws being the other half in the relationship. You are not perfect, you know?
47. Be willing to talk for closure.
An official closure will keep you from being left hanging. It will be easier walking away without looking back.
48. Stop recalling how your ex hurt you.
Stop reminding yourself of how you got hurt. It is like opening your wound again and again by pulling off the stitches.
49. Do not think about getting even.
Revenge will not bring your ex back to you or heal your heart. Let God avenge you.
50. Ask God to change your heart.
Instead of asking God to change the heart of your ex so s/he would come back, pray that you stop being selfishby learning to respect his/her decision and understand why things had to happen.
Photo by lechenie-narkomanii
51. Do not stalk.
Stalking is an addictive habit that would keep you locked up in an obsession with your ex.
52. Let go of his/her stuff.
Return, throw, burn, or give away the things that remind you of your ex.
53. Do not get mad if your ex decides to find someone new.
Your ex has every right to love someone else. You have no more right to stop him/her.
54. Do not deny that it is all over.
Accept that everything between the two of you is over. There is nothing to hold on to.
55. Stop hoping for a reconciliation.
Stop expecting for things to be back to how it was before. If it happens, it happens, but until then stop hoping. Save yourself from disappointment.
56. Get rid of your photos together.
Hard, but you need to let go of those pictures on your phone and social media. They only bring painful memories.
57. Delete his/her phone number.
This will keep you from being tempted to contact your ex. Hopefully, you have not memorized it.
58. Stop using his/her family and friends to convince your ex to get back with you.
One of the reasons why you should stop contacting your ex’s loved ones is because you hope they can help you get back together.
59. Open your heart to someone new.
Give yourself a chance to meet someone else—of course, when your heart is ready.
60. Do not let the pain pin you down.
Strive to be productive despite what you are going through. Find true happiness in other areas of your life.
61. Do not focus on the present situation.
Stop focusing on the pain right now. Instead, look ahead to the light at the end of the tunnel.
62. Be excited about the new chapter of your life.
Take this as a fresh start. Expect greater things in this new season.
63. Think you deserve someone better.
Why settle when you can find someone who can treat you better? Do not settle for less.
64. Ready yourself.
Prepare yourself for the better things ahead. Clean up the mess in your life, and be ready like you would meet the right one this day.
65. Find out what you really want in a partner.
There is no perfect partner, but still, it does not hurt to create a checklist of the traits you are looking for in a person. It will help you decide whether you want him/her to be part of your future or not.
66. Decide to be the best for your future mate.
As you want the best partner, strive to be the best partner for your future mate as well. Find out how you can improve yourself.
67. Date to know a person better.
Do not date just for fun or rebound. If you entertain a person, that means you are considering if s/he could be your suitable partner for the future.
68. Only enter a relationship if you are ready for marriage already.
The next time you commit to a relationship make sure that you can see your future with that person already. Also, you should be ready to settle down soon.
69. Be sure you have moved on completely.
Do not enter a new relationship if you still have a thing for your ex. What if s/he shows up before you one day? You would not want to be caught up in the middle.
70. Change your lifestyle for the better.
Get rid of bad habits that are harmful to your health, relationships, and careers like alcoholism, smoking, and gambling. You would want to be fit for your future.
71. Do not hurry love.
Do not be pressured or frustrated if it takes time for you to find new love. You do not force a budding flower to bloom in no time.
72. Be stable first.
Surely, you want to be a reliable partner someday. For this reason, take this time of singlehood to be secure and mature physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and financially.
73. Research how you can be a better partner.
Find out the usual traits that the opposite sex need and love in their partner. Learn about love languages too.
74. Pray for the right person.
Ask God to help you discern the right person for you so that your next relationship will last already. He is willing to give wisdom to anyone who asks.
75. Serve God while you are waiting.
Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and the right person will be given to you as well.
Photo by Kristina Paukshtite
76. Avoid being alone.
It is tempting to be alone when you are in pain. However, this could be dangerous for you. Go out with people and stay in public areas.
77. Find someone you can talk to about your feelings.
Look for an accountability partner with whom you can express what you feel. Let it all out.
78. Get professional help if needed.
If your depression has gone beyond your control and you think you are already in danger of breaking down, do not be embarrassed to ask for help from a psychiatrist, psychologist, or counselor.
79. Be physically active.
Aside from increasing your energy level, regular exercise and playing sports can relieve tension and stress.
80. Go out more often.
Seeing the same corners of your room for days would keep you depressed. Go somewhere bustling with people and activities like malls, amusement parks, or anywhere you can enjoy.
81. Be surrounded by people you love.
Surround yourself with your family and friends especially when you are haunted by painful thoughts.
82. Do not resort to alcoholism.
Drinking liquors may help you forget your pain for a while, but once the effect of alcohol wears off it is still there. Too much drinking would only cause nothing but more problems.
83. Do not think about committing suicide.
Are you going to waste your life on one single person? How about your family and everyone else who cares about you?
84. Mind over matter.
Strengthen your will to keep fighting. Be determined not to be a quitter no matter what.
85. Do not watch sad movies.
Avoid watching sad or tragic movies. They can only worsen your depression.
86. Cry it all.
It is okay to cry. Cry hard until you have released everything. It makes you feel better.
87. Express your emotions through writing.
Keep a journal in which you can express your thoughts and feelings. It is like pouring out to someone.
88. Admit that you need healing.
If you are going through depression, do not deny it. You need to face the reality and seek help so you can be helped.
89. Get strength from prayer.
Find strength in the assurance that God is with you in this difficult situation. Spend time with Him through prayers and surrender all to Him.
90. Read the Bible for wisdom and comfort.
The Bible has already comforted many hurting people before you. Read it and be comforted by God’s promises.
91. Make a blog.
You can use your experience to inspire others. If you have a passion for writing, then why not create a blog about it?
92. Encourage those who are going through the same pain.
If you know others who are also trying to move on from a breakup, encourage them by sharing with them what you have done or are doing to survive your own struggle.
93. Show your family and friends that you have grown a lot.
For sure, your loved ones are worried about you. For them, work hard to be better. Then, show them how you have grown mature from the experience.
94. Do not be ashamed of your failed relationship.
It is fine if others find out that your relationship failed. Almost everyone has experienced the same situation at least once in their lifetime.
95. Wear the best version of yourself always.
Show yourself and everyone else that your painful experience has only brought you a positive thing—and that is to bring out the best in you.
96. Share the moral lesson of your past love story with the younger ones.
If you have younger siblings or you know some teenagers, share with them what you have learned from your experience so they can also learn from it.
97. Be friends with your ex, if possible.
If possible, try to keep at least a casual friendship with your ex. S/he has been part of your life anyway, so be a model of forgiveness and true moving on.
98. Be thankful for what you have gone through.
You may not see it now, but someday you would be thankful for this painful part of your life. You will surely learn a lot from this experience, and these lessons can make you stronger.
99. Be optimistic about love.
Despite what happened, please do not be bitter about love. Do not be afraid to love again. Loving is still the best part of being alive.
100. Use your story to glorify God.
After you see how God gives you strength in this tough time and helps you fix your life, show your gratitude to Him by sharing your story with people. Help others get over painful situations by trusting in God more.
A breakup may mean an end to a relationship but it can also mean a new start for better things. Do not let loneliness and pain discourage you from living your life. Use them as a motivation to strive harder.